Monthly Archives: October 2011

Saturday

Not much going on in the world for us today.

Since we are 9 days out from Halloween, I thought I would share something that scares me.

Hi, my name is Patricia, and I am deathly afraid of  the Ta-Ti. (pronounced: tah-tie)

First, let me define the ta-ti, as a Cajun child you are told that you better be good or else the ta-ti is going to get you. You learned quick to develop this healthy fear of the ta-ti, because this creature lives in your mind, and is only as bad as you make him/her/ “IT” out to be. My ta-ti, is a clown.

See, birthday clowns…they don’t bother me, I can draw them and look at pictures of their upside smiles all day long and think “You poor sick fool, your mom really did a number on you” and not flinch even the slightest.

BUT! Let that fool from It by Stephen King flash across something, yeah I’m under a couch, coffee table, hiding behind Trond…using his hands to cover my eyes..because lets face it, if I can’t see you, then you can’t see me.

Pennywise, yes; I know my nemesis’ name, is one scary thing. He lives in drains and watches you. This is the reason I do not walk on: drains on the side of the road, grates covering holes in parking lots, grated stairs, and do not put my hand near drains in sinks/tubs etc. Yes! I am odd I know, well aware. The great part of all of it, I have raised 5 evilly delicious children that think it is hilarious to jump on the grates, fake pass their foot into the drains on the side of the road, and reach through the drains in parking lots…and scream : “MOMMA! HELP!! PENNYWISE GOT ME!!”…yep, they are wonderful fun. If you ever need to know if your heart works, hang out with my kids, they will have you reaching for a defib machine.

My children keep me young, because the reinforce my fears, and old at the same time…because I think they are trying to see exactly what it would take to give Momma a heart attack on the spot. I believe they have a pool going on who can cause it first.

Advertisements

Time for school! Wipe the drool!

Ok, let me start this off with the standard…

 “I love my kids and they are my everything, every single second of every blasted day. I would do anything for them and they know this.”

Ok, that being said: Why must they antagonize each other so much ?! I have 5 children and 2 step-children (yes that is 7), whom I cherish and adore and want nothing more than to bury my nose in their necks and just go “ttthhhhpppttthhhbbbbbttthhh” you know, a Zerbert (enter obscure Cosby Show reference).  But my word! The kids in the morning? I swear they all need a cup of coffee or something. Someone needs to man up and say “No, don’t talk to me until I have my first smoke and cup of coffee”, now my kids do not smoke, however if it fixed a few attitudes at 6:30 am, I may consider it.

No one actually speaks, as in to help or have a conversation. No, they growl and spit shortened Neanderthal sentences at one another until the other blows up, whines or gets confused on what task they were performing. Usually the confusion is mid-teeth brushing, while the toothbrush hangs precariously from their rabid frothed mouths, and doesn’t clear until I sneak…yes I sneak up on them, I like the element of surprise, and the look of panic as all of a sudden I am in the bathroom mirror with them, it’s very cathartic to scare the wits out of someone who is really making your morning a hell; but I digress. I sneak up and say rather quickly and in a well heard (yelling) voice…finish brushing your teeth, and they  miraculously pop back into brushing stride. It wouldn’t be so bad if I only had to say this once a day, but no, alas it is 5-6 times a morning. Now if you do the math: 6 mornings x 5 days a week x 3 kids a day x 36 weeks a school year = 3, 240 times (just on school days) a year I am having to remind someone with a toothbrush in their mouth to…BRUSH YOUR EVER LOVING TEETH ALREADY!

And suddenly it is 7:25, and from the door I hear…”If you’re coming with me you better come on!”…ahhh my savior to take them away in the magic black truck. I am showered with: I love you Momma, and no she’s kissing me bye first! followed by the inevitable 3 yr old cry–But I want to say bye first!

I just focus on the kisses and I love you’s and have a great day at school, and the wonderful advice from the 7th grader: don’t text in class, teachers don’t like it.

Ya think?

The upside of it: I don’t have to wait in the car line at school in the morning. By 7:30 am, Pappa has them, and I seceretly wait for him to get home a mere 25 mins later and see the smoke coming out of his Viking ears as he says..”what is with them? 20 minutes …in a car and suddenly you want to let one loose in the country!”

(ahh I love my life, I am blessed)


Hello world!

Ok! You guys said you would read it…so here it is!

I am going to do my very best to start a family blog. We have a rather large family and some of the things that happen in this house is, well; crazy! It’s also pretty hilarious with the Katherine Grace-isms.

I hope to introduce all of you to a different side of us. The dry sense of humor, the twisted things only we think is funny and of course there will be just some out right venting.

So this is going to be my walk through life, however misguided and misinformed it may be…it will be what it is.

Personally, I do not believe in censorship, so do not ask me to take something down or tell me what to write or don’t write. The internet is a marvelous thing, there are tons of other items and blogs and posts you can read, if you don’t like what I have to say.

The mission of this: to be funny and real at the same time.

Hope you enjoy it.

*looks up at the clock* CRAP! BAILEY! — I’ll be back!