Time for school! Wipe the drool!


Ok, let me start this off with the standard…

 “I love my kids and they are my everything, every single second of every blasted day. I would do anything for them and they know this.”

Ok, that being said: Why must they antagonize each other so much ?! I have 5 children and 2 step-children (yes that is 7), whom I cherish and adore and want nothing more than to bury my nose in their necks and just go “ttthhhhpppttthhhbbbbbttthhh” you know, a Zerbert (enter obscure Cosby Show reference).  But my word! The kids in the morning? I swear they all need a cup of coffee or something. Someone needs to man up and say “No, don’t talk to me until I have my first smoke and cup of coffee”, now my kids do not smoke, however if it fixed a few attitudes at 6:30 am, I may consider it.

No one actually speaks, as in to help or have a conversation. No, they growl and spit shortened Neanderthal sentences at one another until the other blows up, whines or gets confused on what task they were performing. Usually the confusion is mid-teeth brushing, while the toothbrush hangs precariously from their rabid frothed mouths, and doesn’t clear until I sneak…yes I sneak up on them, I like the element of surprise, and the look of panic as all of a sudden I am in the bathroom mirror with them, it’s very cathartic to scare the wits out of someone who is really making your morning a hell; but I digress. I sneak up and say rather quickly and in a well heard (yelling) voice…finish brushing your teeth, and they  miraculously pop back into brushing stride. It wouldn’t be so bad if I only had to say this once a day, but no, alas it is 5-6 times a morning. Now if you do the math: 6 mornings x 5 days a week x 3 kids a day x 36 weeks a school year = 3, 240 times (just on school days) a year I am having to remind someone with a toothbrush in their mouth to…BRUSH YOUR EVER LOVING TEETH ALREADY!

And suddenly it is 7:25, and from the door I hear…”If you’re coming with me you better come on!”…ahhh my savior to take them away in the magic black truck. I am showered with: I love you Momma, and no she’s kissing me bye first! followed by the inevitable 3 yr old cry–But I want to say bye first!

I just focus on the kisses and I love you’s and have a great day at school, and the wonderful advice from the 7th grader: don’t text in class, teachers don’t like it.

Ya think?

The upside of it: I don’t have to wait in the car line at school in the morning. By 7:30 am, Pappa has them, and I seceretly wait for him to get home a mere 25 mins later and see the smoke coming out of his Viking ears as he says..”what is with them? 20 minutes …in a car and suddenly you want to let one loose in the country!”

(ahh I love my life, I am blessed)

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About aniksrunn

Wife, mother, student--slightly twisted sense of humor with tons of useless knowledge! View all posts by aniksrunn

5 responses to “Time for school! Wipe the drool!

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