Ok, let me start this off with the standard…
“I love my kids and they are my everything, every single second of every blasted day. I would do anything for them and they know this.”
Ok, that being said: Why must they antagonize each other so much ?! I have 5 children and 2 step-children (yes that is 7), whom I cherish and adore and want nothing more than to bury my nose in their necks and just go “ttthhhhpppttthhhbbbbbttthhh” you know, a Zerbert (enter obscure Cosby Show reference). But my word! The kids in the morning? I swear they all need a cup of coffee or something. Someone needs to man up and say “No, don’t talk to me until I have my first smoke and cup of coffee”, now my kids do not smoke, however if it fixed a few attitudes at 6:30 am, I may consider it.
No one actually speaks, as in to help or have a conversation. No, they growl and spit shortened Neanderthal sentences at one another until the other blows up, whines or gets confused on what task they were performing. Usually the confusion is mid-teeth brushing, while the toothbrush hangs precariously from their rabid frothed mouths, and doesn’t clear until I sneak…yes I sneak up on them, I like the element of surprise, and the look of panic as all of a sudden I am in the bathroom mirror with them, it’s very cathartic to scare the wits out of someone who is really making your morning a hell; but I digress. I sneak up and say rather quickly and in a well heard (yelling) voice…finish brushing your teeth, and they miraculously pop back into brushing stride. It wouldn’t be so bad if I only had to say this once a day, but no, alas it is 5-6 times a morning. Now if you do the math: 6 mornings x 5 days a week x 3 kids a day x 36 weeks a school year = 3, 240 times (just on school days) a year I am having to remind someone with a toothbrush in their mouth to…BRUSH YOUR EVER LOVING TEETH ALREADY!
And suddenly it is 7:25, and from the door I hear…”If you’re coming with me you better come on!”…ahhh my savior to take them away in the magic black truck. I am showered with: I love you Momma, and no she’s kissing me bye first! followed by the inevitable 3 yr old cry–But I want to say bye first!
I just focus on the kisses and I love you’s and have a great day at school, and the wonderful advice from the 7th grader: don’t text in class, teachers don’t like it.
The upside of it: I don’t have to wait in the car line at school in the morning. By 7:30 am, Pappa has them, and I seceretly wait for him to get home a mere 25 mins later and see the smoke coming out of his Viking ears as he says..”what is with them? 20 minutes …in a car and suddenly you want to let one loose in the country!”
(ahh I love my life, I am blessed)