Tag Archives: teen

Pondering God

So this evening I had the joyous pleasure of driving my son upstate to meet his step-mom and brother for the weekend. As we are waiting for them to arrive it suddenly starts raining like crazy. I mean, drenching rain in 2 mins. So we end up sitting in the truck laughing and talking. I love talking to my kids, they teach me so much. The conversation went EXACTLY like this: (If you are offended by talking about the size of God’s penis, please…keep reading and leave me a comment talking how sacrilegious I am)

(PS. this is the same boy that thought there was two Jennings…see previous post)

Xan: I used to be scared to walk in the rain, my friend told me one time that it was God peeing.

Me: Uh…what? (yep, I was speechless..and curious all at the same time)

Xan: But then I had a rational thought.

Me: You aren’t rational..

Xan: No, but I can have a thought.

Me: Ok, what is your rational thought?

Xan: Ok…picture it..well, don’t picture it…but you know. When a guy pees it’s usually in a straight line right?

Me: For argument’s sake, mostly.

Xan: So see, It couldn’t be God’s pee because he couldn’t have a straight line of pee and rain everywhere.

Me: *thinking*…Ok, would you say it’s safe to say that God is well endowed?

Xan: Uhm, huh?

Me: *giggling* Does God have a large penis?

Xan: I DON’T KNOW ITS NEVER DEPICTED (yes, he uses big words) but, ok, for this conversation…yes.

Me:Ok, when you are done peeing…what do you do?

Xan: uhmm flush?

Me: No, shake?

Xan: *uncontrollable laughter* yes

Me: Here Look:

Freak Rain we were in.

(Thunderstorm we were in)

Me: Now, doesn’t that look like a “shake pattern”

Xan: I am never walking in the rain again.

Talk to your chidden, be ridiculous, laugh uncontrollably.